Pastoral Ministry: Lessons I Have Learned the Hard Way

by Ron Aguilera

One, I learned the value of influence. When I first entered the ministry, I assumed people would follow me because I was the pastor, because of my position. I quickly learned that was not the case. Sure, they follow some of my leadings. But, I did not have the influence I thought my Biblical training deserved.

Over the years, I have learned that position, like the position of pastor, is the lowest level of influence, the lowest level of leadership.

To maximize his or her ministry, a pastor must grow their influence. How? How does a pastor grow their influence with people?

One thing I learned early on was that I needed to discover who the influencers, those with influence in the church, were. Then, I began to work on developing influence with the influencers. I spent time getting to know them, sharing my heart and passion for ministry with them, listening to them and their concerns, and serving them by meeting their needs. Once I did this, I discovered that they were much more willing to follow my leadings.

Leadership is about influence. A leader develops influence by being trustworthy, living with integrity, and being competent (prepared).

Two, I learned a leader must communicate, communicate, communicate. I learned that I needed to clearly articulate what was happening and what we should be doing often. Vision casting is not a one time event. A leader must take advantage of every teachable moment to teach (Tichy quote).

I thought that if I just said it once, people would get it, and that they would be as passionate as I was about ministry or people far away form God. I have learned that a leader must cast the vision constantly, both individually or person to person and corporately, to the church at large. I also have found it necessary to train other people to help with this process.

Clarity is a key component of communication. What seems clear to you might not always be clear to others. That’s why you must communicate over and over the mission, values, and objectives of the church.

Three, I learned that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Building relationships is imperative to the leader’s ability to influence. (Maxwell, Four things I did not learn in seminary)

Nurture

Four, I learned I can’t minister to everyone. Dealing with failure (Maxwell). Failure is not failure unless you don’t learn anything from it. Failure is the best teacher.

Know your spiritual gifts (leadership, communication, discernment). Focus on strengths. Surround yourself with others who can cover your weaknesses. “Pastor” is a bad term. It highlights only one of the spiritual gifts, nurture…

Conflict management

Five, I learned that just because you build it doesn’t mean they will come. Remember the movie “Field of Dreams”? Evangelism is a verbal value of most, but an actual value of few. Many people in the pew don’t really want to see anybody new (change is hard)

Attitude

Four things I did not learn in seminary

Six, preparation is the key to success. I leaned to make the time to think about the possibilities I might encounter, and prepare for them. I learned to take time to have the conversations before the meetings. For example, in golf you have a pre-shot routine — step back, align….

Seven, each church has its own culture. All churches can’t be led the same way. Take time to learn the culture, to understand the dynamics, and to build trust.

Eight, I expected a person to conform to where I am in my spiritual journey and that closed the door to future conversation. My job is to keep the door of communication and influence long enough to let the Holy Spirit do its work. That means as long as I can. The longer I am able to maintain influence, the greater the chance there will be an opportunity for impact (to plant a seed).

Back and white thinking versus thinking gray. What do I man by this? It means being patient and loving, it means withholding certain statements truths, until the person is ready to hear them.

How do you know when that is? Discernment, which comes through the Spirit, payer. If you are not sure, it is always better to err on the side of caution, mercy. Jesus said it is better to have a millstone around your neck and be thrown in the depths of the sea, than to damage a child. I believe you can apply this to both chronological children and spiritual ones…

Nine, you can’t please everyone, not everyone thinks as “logically” as me.